Three Months

I sat down today and realized something. In three months, my high school career will be over. In three short months, I will be a high school graduate. I will no longer be considered a high school student. And I thought to myself “holy shit. Where has time gone?”

When I look back, it seems like only yesterday I was sitting in my kindergarten classroom, scared beyond all belief at the idea of not knowing anybody. But I made friends, friends I still have to this day. And then came the move. In fourth grade I switched schools, and that overwhelming feeling came back. “I don’t know anyone. What if I never make friends?” these thoughts ran through my head constantly. And quite honestly, I don’t know how I made it through. But I did. And I made friends.

With the coming of middle school came the same feelings. People who I played with in elementary school were no longer in all of my classes. I didn’t see them on a regular basis. And I was forced to peek my head out of my shell and survey the world around me. And with my straining and my feeble attempts, somehow, I found my friends; new friends. Ones I could associate with, ones who seemed much like myself. And throughout the tumultuous years of middle school, I carried many of these friends with me. But deep in my heart I knew they would not do so for long.

High school. Freshman year. Possibly the worst year of my schooling. The friends I thought I would have forever were slowly drifting away into other, more appropriate and fitting groups while I was slowly becoming more and more withdrawn. But slowly, ever so slowly, I came out from my shell and this time, I decided that this damn thing was too cramped, and I discarded it forever.

Now when I look back on these days, and the days that followed, I smile. But a small part of me is sad. Sad because I know that there were MANY things that I could have done, things that would have made memories that would last a lifetime, that I chose not to do. And that makes me sad. But I know that the memories that I did make would take up pages upon pages to write, and frankly, for all who know me, this is patience I simply don’t have. But I know that I have changed in my thirteen years of school. Some for the worse, but much, much more for the better – in my opinion anyway.

But now when I look at my classmates, I realize something. On graduation day, when Pomp and Circumstance is playing in the background and I stand up to receive my high school diploma, I will hold no regrets about my time in school. I have learned much along my path, teaching anyone I could along the way. I have made many, many new friends, and still hold several old ones who I can trace my association with back to my first days of kindergarten. I am not the same shy, skittish boy who entered the doors of the classroom ever so skeptically. I am a very different man. And of that I am proud.

So now, as scholarship applications are being completed (which I’m supposed to be doing now) and graduation announcements are being formatted and distributed, I find myself in a familiar place. Afraid. Afraid that, come college, I won’t know anyone. That I won’t fit in. And then, a small voice comes into my head. “So what?” and I find comfort in these words. Because I know that despite my worries and fears of not fitting in, I know that I will. And this comforts me. I also know that even though the miles will be great between my friends and me, that they will never cease to be just that – my friends.

So now, looking out over this new horizon, I find myself inspired to march onward because I know that my friends will always be there beside me, marching on with me, by my side, encouraging me, and giving me the strength and courage to move on.

In three short months I can no longer call Cheboygan Area High School my school. But I will always remember those who traveled this long and winding road by my side.